$500 for 3 classes worth of textbooks????
Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.
GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”
The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.
- When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
- Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
- Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
- Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
- Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
- Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
- The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.
"I’m going to tell you what a demon once told me: It is okay to want your own happiness. It’s okay to care about yourself the most. It’s okay to do what’s healthy for YOU. When someone hits you, it’s okay to hit back and then ask them what the hell they expected. It’s okay. You are not obligated to sit there and smile and swallow every bit of shit everyone heaps on you. You are more than furniture, you’re more than window dressing, you’re not their shiny toy. You’re human, and you have the right to say “That was shitty of you”. You have a right to say “Let me feed that back to you; tell me, how does it taste?” You have a right to protest your own mistreatment and set boundaries for respectful interactions. The rest of the world doesn’t realize you have this right, and they will act offended and appalled when you exercise it, but it is yours."
#I have so much trouble with this
#I mostly just run away
Fudge recipe on a headstone
I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.
I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”
That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.